I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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