your room smells of hookers.
And success
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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