she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
