His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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