Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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