I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
