rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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