Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
