He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
