you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
