In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Why is your signature on my underwear?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
