I think my vagina is haunted
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
