i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Too much gin, very little bucket
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
