I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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