everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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