YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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