woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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