The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Randomize
