look no pants
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
