My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
