You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
