Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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