If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
