i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
