there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
