miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize