He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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