Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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