pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
