he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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