this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
