Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
