Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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