Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
