I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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