i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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