With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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