So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
