Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize