Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
