so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
