...so i touched it.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
