I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Is it because I queefed?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
