I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
