He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
