I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
why is half of my head shaved?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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