How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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