Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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