Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
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Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
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University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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