NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
