His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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