my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
