Pappa wants mamma naked
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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