Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
