there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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