if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
